Going Postal

I’m gonna fuckin’ kill my mailman. For some reason, my credit card company decided they’re going to give me a free subscription to Spin magazine. So my first issue comes today, and it looks like somebody dropped it in a puddle on the ground, then picked it up and chewed on it for a while.
When that fucker opens the mail slot tomorrow, he’ll find a double-barrelled surprise waiting for him.

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