Ahh, this thanksgiving is going to be relaxing. I had originally planned on eating at my in-law’s house at noon, then eating at my mom’s house at 5:00. But my mother-in-law went psycho the other day and started talking shit about me for no apparent reason (other than that she doesn’t like me). She and my wife had gotten into an argument about work, and she somehow thought I was to blame for the entire thing, and accused me of starting this argument which I had nothing to do with. So of course, I got really pissed and said something like, “You better fucking leave me out of this, bitch!” So she not only thinks I forced my wife to get into an argument with her, she also thinks I’m a dick for calling her a bitch and defending myself against her accusations.
Anyhow, I decided I’m not going to spend my holiday around a bunch of fucking psychos, so while my wife is eating thanksgiving dinner at her parents’ house, I’ll be helping my mom get dinner ready at her house. Besides, my mom’s a much better cook than my wife’s dad, and I’ll have more room for the good stuff.