Q: How many Utah Highway Patrol officers does it take to issue a ticket?

A: Three, apparently.

A UHP storm trooper pulled over a chick in a big-ass Bronco across the street from my house a while ago, and apparently either he didn't know the law well enough to know whether the lift on the Bronco was higher than state law allows, or he just didn't have a tape measure with him. So he called for reinforcements, and about 20 minutes later (yes, really 20 minutes), another storm trooper showed up armed with a tape measure. They measured the height of the lift, then stood around talking about it for another 5 minutes, during which time another storm trooper showed up. I'm not sure if the first storm trooper actually gave the chick a ticket, or if he was just handing her driver's license back to her, but she was finally allowed to leave. Then the 3 troopers stood around bull-shitting for another 10 minutes (no doubt discussing what time to meet at Market Express for some donuts) before one of them left, then the remaining 2 kept chattin' for another 5 minutes before they both left.

Now if the entire premise of hiring jackasses like that to do nothing more than harass people and eat donuts isn't a waste of taxpayer money, I don't know what is.